BUT, i had not rested well since the last paper. been so busy with all kinds of stuff that how i wish i can lay back n slow down. but the past week has made me realize alot in life...

things have been bad in the club alr... but it gotten "abit" worse on sunday's training. things started out fine until a big quarrel came about...

both parties r not totally right n r also at fault. i guess it's time for the team to trash things out in order to get things going again. it would be impossible for a team to work together when such things always happens. i came into the team for the sport but not for all these. politics aint supposed to be in the picture. if the team still wants to achieve the goal of soaring high in div3, i guess it's time everyone stop acting so childish n start playing the REAL sport.

i wont explain the full details here. but at least if u r in the team n u r reading this, i hope u can do some thinking on whether the team is still a team n wat r ur reasons for being part of the team.


that's day incident was bad enough until the camp...

it was jue's 1st camp as a chief. the reason i was there cos jue has helped me do camps back in the past n my other frens r doing together. actually i was quite excited yet sad about doing the camp. first, being excited that we r gg to have fun n enjoy this last camp together. Second, cos i was actually still tired from all the exams n stuff. However, since i alr promised them i would do, i wont just run away.

it was until i reached there, i realised that the team of instructors r from two different companies. initially, i thought it was only our group of frens but it turned out that there r some who r jue's frens too. then i realised it was good to have them ard actually cos we r new to the company jue's working in and at least we have some people who r inside the company who know how the company runs the camps. then we wont caused jue to have too much of disturbance during the camp.

bao also told me that actually we r gg to be WATCHED in the camp cos it's a big group of instructors who r from another company. well, given the fact that they fear that we will sabotage the company, i guess the level of pressure between the two groups has started to build up alr. it's quite ridiculous i know but still, we have to give jue face n not to caused any problems for her cos it's hard for her as she's caught in between the two groups of frens.

for the 1st day of camp, things didn't turn out fine cos many of us r still adapting to the style n culture of the operation. many of us tolerate n bear with it. munting, bao n i were the few who r very tired from out own life n still do the camp for frens' sake. munting n i were also wondering y we made ourselves so tired for. but still we motivated one another n carried on.

for munting, bao n i, we try to lie low for this camp as we dun wan to do too much "power showing" unnecessarily. the reason is that ppl will start copying n do the wrong version. the original n correct one will nv surface in the industry. i learnt one thing back when i was still doing camps with munting. Show ppl who u normally can do, n still keep some to urself. u nv know that someday wat u kept will make u survive.

many people always try to copy n steal ideas. this is actually not the right attitude, if u r keen to learn then ask properly. dun just take someone's hard work n effort away without saying thank you n being ungrateful. always remember ur roots. always remember how others have helped u to become who u r now.

i always remembered how munting n fraddy has given me that chance to climb higher n learn from them. if it's not for them, i guess doing camps will never be the same again.

for the 1st day, we noticed that XXX company's instructors are not very inclined in their debriefing but the way they facilitate the sea activities are superb. for our side we r more inclined in debriefing. in a way, we actually complement each other. facilitation wise we can learn from them, debriefing wise they can learn from us.

second day, it was much better cos one more day we will all go back home n get a well deserved rest. but the real nightmare came during the campfire.

campfire ic were supposed to be munting n i. however, we both felt that we shouldn't do cos we r new to the company. give the right mind set, the regulars who worked with the company will definitely not feel good cos they will think y r the new instructors taking on such important roles. they will also think wat makes us so different n will wait to see how we screw up the campfire. also, we dun wan them to think that any screw ups r related to us trying to sabotage the company. so we backed off so as not to have any conflict of interest.

the campfire was different from the ones i attended, they had a good structure of the campfire n the fireball which i must admit that it's really good. the style of them conducting the campfire is abit like watever comes in mind we do that kind. campfire items were mostly led by us. i must say that we r all putting effort to make things happen. yet they still treat us differently.

before the closure of the campfire, zaid told us that instructors will have an item too. so we were discussing wat to do. initially, the plan was to do funky chicken n sing "linger" for us we r not sure of the song n for them they r not sure of the funky chicken. we can actually complement each other again but both r two extremes of energy level, the kids wont be able to adapt immediately n will not have the best effect. so, everyone decide on the song instead cos we r trying to bring the energy level down.

after the discussion, zaid played a game. he slowly brought out all the instructors one by one. those who r the regulars r in front n the rest of us r behind. suddenly, i realised that zaid is actually quite clever to come up with such an idea to position us for the song. i m actually very impressed by him. in the end i was wrong when soapy water came down on us. n it was only us that got wet. at that moment i was quite shocked as to wat has happened. i was thinking whether m i supposed to get pissed n angry or laugh that we all fell for the trick. i walked out of the campfire cos i need to straighten my thoughts right. the rest followed behind towards the toilets.

it was until the girls broke down i realise that it was no longer a joking matter. the first thing to do is ask them to go into the toilets. i dun wan the kids n teachers to see them crying. i went to look for jue n straight things out.

i basically asked her wat is all this about. she told me that it's the campany's tradition to welcome the new comers. i told her that she knows that the pressure has been built up n now it had triggered an explosion. this not how u should treat a fren. we r here to help u n not get humiliated in front of the whole sch of kids n teachers, many other instructors who came to see how the campfire was conducted. ppl has dignity n u dun have a right to bring down that dignity. i also asked her this, if munting n i didn't reject being the campfire ic, will this still happen? she said yes... i do not wan to say anything n i walked off. one is that i felt that this will not happen if we were the campfire ic.

the guys went back to our groups n covered for the girls. at least we dun let them have a chance to say that we r unprofessional.

after the kids all went to sleep, it was time for trashing out. the girls r still emotionally unstable to sit in. so i rather they dun sit in for the debrief. then i saw liling, she was crying. she told me that bao rejected her tissue in the toilet. she didn't mean to spash water at us but she got no choice cos the seniors asked her to do so.

the fact that she was our fren, i understand her position, but somehow i felt that if she insisted on not wanting to get involved, no one can forced to do so. also, we r abit pissed n angry is that being our frens, u didn't warn us on anything abt it. tt's not wat frens r for. frens should help one another in times of trouble or danger n not let ur fren die in front of u.

during the trashing out, jue got kelvin n wei hang to sit in for the debrief. personally, i felt that they shouldn't come in as they r not directly involved. the whole night, i felt that kelvin is trying to cover everyone's asses. come on la... cover for wat!! i m tired of hearing his nonsense the whole night. they said they were sorry n didn't know that things will turn out in such a way.

i told them that knowing that pressure between the two groups has been build up n yet they still wan to cause an explosion. at least knowing that, if it's a tradition, u can at least minimize the damages done on us. u said that u all dun wan to spoil the frenship yet, do this? once u have done this, there will always be a scar n it will not go away no matter how much time heals it.

also, we were there for one camp only. we dun plan to stay long n try to steal ur job. yes, if u said that new comers react differently, they r totally new to the company. come on... think for urself. if u r a new comer to this industry, u get splashed n it was the traddition to welcome u. of cos, u will take it to ur stride as u cannot complain or wat when u r new. u will also think that u will get ur revenge soon on new comers the next time round. n it has became a vicious cycle.

the fact that we r all there in the company is b'cos of jue n we r only doing one camp for the company n that's it. y do we wan to take time off our busy schedule n do camps? cos of a fren. we did not do anything wrong to deserve this. besides, we r not new comers. we r all experienced instructors n we had reputations in the industry.

it's also a broken of trust. when i expected highly of them cos zaid came up with that idea to "position" us, i was disappointed when i was brought down so low. we trusted them to do anything to us yet they betrayed the trust.

wei hang mentioned that those walked away n didn't come back r unprofessional n that we r a team n wearing the same uniform we should work as a team. i told them that everyone has different level of controlling n handle emotions. u cannot judge this based on ur naked eye. even if munting n i were campfire ic, n they played this, we will still walk out. how to talk professional when u dun understand the situation??? put urself inside our shoes n experienced it urself.

i also told them that choices have consequences. if u dun think of the consequence first, u will make a wrong choice. dun say that this is the first time u experience such consequences. r u telling me that when the soldier died of drowning, the officers do no need to bear the responsibility cos it's their first time? come on we r all adults. talk in the adult manner no more childish play like first time offense n get away with it.

i m not trying to pinpoint who's fault it is but wat i wan to bring across is the choice u made that resulted in such an explosion. it's not easy for us being in a new company n get all these. we dun deserve it!

kelvin also promised to try to stop this game in future, come on la. we wont be ard to see it happen dude. man of my words. oh gosh... if it's the company culture, then pls show us the SOP or let me talk to the boss n ask him whether he allowed such a culture. i believe no boss will wan this to happen.

it's the end n no remedy was given... we know words will spread ard the industry but come on la... our conscience are clear. no matter how much u wan to badmouth we will still stand strong.

it suddenly occurred to me that such things always happen in life, when two parties are in argument, the truth will always not surface as both sides will tell their own stories. ppl will get influenced by their stories n their other party different. well, although it's not a good culture to have in life, that's life. the only solution will be getting everyone together n talk things out. let the neutral parties to decide who's right n wrong.

always take responsibility for ur own actions. like just on thursday, i met with an accident. the driver who knocked into me was a lady. she suddenly cut into my lane n knocked onto my side. the first thing she said was "did i knocked into u". oh gosh pls look with ur eyes. " oh dear, i m too focused in front n did not check my side". she panicked n couldn't drive her car to one side so as not to obstruct the traffic.

next, the most outrageous thing was that the car isn't hers. it's a new car too. my god y such a person knocked into me. my damages was more serious than hers. she didn't know wat to do n she has to call the owner who is currently overseas to see wat he wans to do.

the next day, i called her n she told me that the owner wants to seek legal advice n claim by insurance. this is the first time i meet ppl who r older n dumber. it really pissed me off. the repairs can be done less than 500 bucks n using a 1000 bucks claim is definitely not worth it. i told her that n she can tell me she respects the owner's decision. n still has the cheek to tell me that the owner said that the road is converging n she's in the right not wrong. i realised that the owner must have wan to use the position of the impact to fight with me.

come on la. how old r u? 30+? u r old enough to realise that the owner is not involved in the accident n u r the driver who knocked into me. also, go n check the road properly before making a statement in front of me as if i m born ytd. so wat if it's ur side back n my side front. if brought up to the police case, u will still be the one paying. for goodness sake, think properly. they will check the location of accident n analysis the impact n come with the conclusion. she still needs to discuss with the owner...

my god after all these incidents, i just cannot believe that people nowadays dun take responsibility for their actions. wat's the matter? still kids arh??? no wonder society's image is brought down.

i have just seen the ugly n true faces of all these people. sometimes, when things happen, it makes us stronger. although tough times do come by, tough times dun last, tough people do - a quote from a fren. in order to survive, we have to be stronger than another person. dun let ppl take advantage n keep quiet. if sometimes u have to fight back for the truth n to survive, u will have to do it.

that's all for the lengthy post, if u r reading this, i hope u learn a lesson from here too...